Thoughts on love. The most complex relationship most of us will have is the relationship we have with ourselves. It is little wonder then that the issue at hand in many readings I do for querents comes back to this question: ‘How do I love myself?’
I am honoured to be part of the Samhain blog-hop, the theme this time is LOVE. My post links here to Ethony (the blogger before me;) and here to Sun Goddess Tarot (the blogger after me.) Continue to read each of our thoughts on love by clicking on these links. From their blogs they will direct you to the next blogs in the Samhain blog-hop. If however Mercury Retrograde decides to play havoc with any of the links in the chain, fear not, here is the Master List.
How do I love myself? Knowing that the relationship we have with ourselves will colour the relationships we have with everyone and everything around us, I thought it a good opportunity to address this question. I consulted the Lenormand, a European system of fortune-telling. Card combinations are numbered and listed at the end. What follows is a dialogue, a heart-to-heart with ourselves about self-love, derived from a Square of Nine reading I did on this subject. In this reading the conversation might go something like this:
(1) I acknowledge that my relationship with you has been riddled with disease, crippling me to believe that I am not as worthy as another. Confining me to that stuck place where I am confronted with my imperfections. A tomb that whispers ‘if I can see how unworthy you are, surely everybody else sees this too?’ I fear these thoughts that weigh me down seem utterly beyond my control.
(2) But… I acknowledge too that I am in partnership with myself, however I approach this we’re in it together. I may as well stop the merry-go-round for long enough to make a promise to me; a promise of commitment – come what may. (3) In doing so, what may come is a new message of love. A renewal of my core relationship; a relationship that touches and colours all other relationships in my life. (4) I accept the invitation to seek the beauty and value in me. I know it has always been there even if I’ve temporarily lost sight of it.
(5) I acknowledge that my issues of low self esteem are deeply rooted. It seems I’ve carried the weight of this through generations almost as if my imperfections are imprinted on the DNA of my psyche. (6) But, I also acknowledge that I need to make an effort to be truer to me, the real me, and to trust myself to be a loyal companion who can see beyond the genetic imprints until I remember that I have always been my own soul-mate, even before I chose this life, these generational lessons.
(7) It is then that I will be free to enjoy the abundance of who I am. To frolic again in the flow and to see hurtful experiences and perceptions as nothing more than yet another resource, one of many to add to my coffer. (8) For, wherever I travel, whatever distance I cover in this life or another on these or other foreign shores, I know that I am the rightful heir to my unique connection to Source – my own spark of divinity. It is my inheritance.
(9) I will travel beyond the shores of my physical experiences, I will heal my sense of discomfort and ill-worth, and I will recognise myself as one who has been on this journey a long time, much longer than my physical age. From this day on I will be my own champion, my own best friend. I will endeavour to remain in the flow of abundance from which I was conceived.
(10) Dear Self, my journey has not stalled, I am merely setting down roots for a while as I learn about love and relationships in this physical world. I allow the roots of my tree to dip deeply into the flow of consciousness, and I pause often to quench my thirst.
(11) I have me, my best friend, to face the rest of this journey with. As long as I trust that I am exactly where I need to be and that soon enough my ship will sail on to new shores, we might as well enjoy the process together.
(12) I can only love another in so much as I have learnt to love myself. I no longer struggle to swim upstream, I surrender to the flow. Suddenly I find I no longer need permission to love because this love doesn’t come with a price tag that says ‘you’ve gotta love me back.’ I’ve let go of the notion that I am any less deserving than another because I know this is not true. We’re all cut from the same cloth, fishing from the same pond.
I think I’ll spread a picnic blanket now, catch some sun rays and allow myself to feel totally at one with all I am, all I ever have been and all that I am becoming.
I am loved.”
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